Lucky Man

This is my first blogpost in some time. I was having difficulty finding something new to write about. I guess that’s a good thing, right? A mundane life with no real complaints. But, as we all know, life doesn’t work that way for long. There is aways something just around the corner. It can be something joyous. It can be something devastating. But there will be something. Here is my something and a lesson I’ve learned.

My nurse told me that, as I was waking up from general anesthesia, I was mumbling the words to Forever Young by Bob Dylan. A good song, for sure. Appropriate at that time? I’m not so sure. I had just had a spreading melanoma removed from my scalp and replaced with a skin graft from my neck. I was quite the sight. A fragile contraption, called a bolster, balanced on my head to hold the graft in place. A foot long gash on my neck. Frankenstein’s monster comes to mind. Maybe my song at that moment could have been Linda Ronstadt’s “Poor Poor Pitiful Me”. But here is where the lesson comes in.

This is my third bout of cancer. Two melanomas with a prostate cancer in the middle for good measure. Those two types of cancer are two of the most survivable of all the cancers. Maybe I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I lost two siblings to cancer. I’m still alive. Maybe I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I lost my own daughter to a blood cancer. She got seventeen years of life. I’ve had seventy-two. Maybe I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. But I will. At least for a little while. I still have this gash on my neck.

Suffering is a part of life. It’s unavoidable. There is so much suffering, in so many different ways. From the natural ones like illness and weather events, to the man-made ones like war and poverty. I guess the fix is to either learn to complacently live with it, or to help others alleviate their own suffering. The other fix is to remember all the positives in our lives, in spite of the suffering. I believe there really is a wonderful world out there!

Health update: They got all the melanoma. The bolster is off my head. The gash on my neck is healing quickly. The skin graft is taking, but it itches like crazy! Oops, it could be worse.