That’s a Really Long Time

How long do relationships last? Sometimes weeks. Sometimes years. Sometimes decades. I’m not talking just about romantic/sexual relationships. I’m talking about the people in our lives. How long do we know people?

First there is your family. You know your parents from the time you are born until, usually, their death. I knew my mom for only fifteen years, my dad for thirty-one. My big brother, Jim, has probably known me the longest, in fact all of my life, 69 years. My other siblings, I knew them fewer years. All of my many nieces and nephews I have known all of their lives. The oldest is 62 (maybe 63), so there is that number.

Look at friendships. Some start in school, most likely high school or college. Sure maybe some from elementary school, not many though. Friends you make at work usually last as long as you work there. Some continue past that. But most of them have missed the first twenty years, or so, of your life, so that number is going to be smaller than family.

What has gotten me thinking about the length of time people know us? I recently had lunch with a woman I graduated high school with. We reconnected through the work we did on the class reunion committee and at the reunion itself. We had a very nice lunch catching up on each others’ lives and reminiscing about growing up in Slatington. It turns out that, except for my brother Jim, this woman has known me the longest, sixty four years. We discovered that we were both in the same Kindergarten class, were on the same first grade bus to Walnutport Elementary, and spent the next five years at Lincoln Elementary, with the same teachers in every grade! We knew each other well all through junior and senior high schools. Then our lives diverged, with just an occasional class reunion or grocery store spotting.

I find that amazing. We grew up together, took different paths through adulthood, and end up sharing a table at Joey B’s in Palmerton, just three miles from our childhood homes. I love that stuff. I love the ebb and flow of relationships. I love hearing about peoples’ lives. I love thinking about the shared experiences that bond us together. Weird, huh? But, I think that is part of what makes me a good counselor. I’ve always loved people and was able to find good in almost everyone. On a sad note, in the past five years, I have found myself liking people less and less. Our society has changed so much. Maybe that is why I am so nostalgic. Maybe that is why I am drawn to the woods.

Having said that, I’ll conclude with a little lecture. If you have good relationships in your life right now, nurture them. If you have people in your life that you love, tell them so. Life goes quickly. Time is precious. Make the most of it. If you have the chance to grab lunch with someone you went to Kindergarten with, take it. When all is said and done, love is all you need. Well, that and gas money.