On this beautiful Fathers Day I, of course, think of my dad. My dad was a bit of a rebel, a bit of an anarchist. He was unconventional and unpredictable. He died in 1983. I think when he died he was pretty happy with his messy, undirected life. At least I like to think that.
When I say he was a rebel, I don’t mean he was driving around Slatington in a pick up truck with a confederate flag. His being an anarchist doesn’t mean he was a bank robber, or pick pocket, or tax cheat. His uncoventional defines him and his unpredictable made him interesting.
Maybe it’s because he was raised in a conservative Mennonite household. Maybe it’s because he grew up as an only child. Maybe it’s because his parents weren’t around a lot, as they owned a grocery store. I’m not sure of the reason, but he chose to live his life in a rebellious way by flouting many conventions.
My dad loved to laugh and loved to have fun. There was not a lot of life that he took real seriously. Unfortunately that included his finances and his health. He was a chain smoking, beer drinking, pool hustling, poker playing, burlesque visiting, door to door salesman. When I was twelve, he quit his job of 25 years just so he could get a retirement payout and use that to visit his oldest son in California. In spite of my mom’s misgivings, he did not regret that even one day of his life.
One thing he did take seriously was his love for me. I came twelve years after he thought he was done having children. I think that he really enjoyed raising me. He and I were buddies and we did a lot without my mom. I will always treasure that California trip. I will always treasure our visits to the Slatington Skeet Club. I will even treasure the George reunions he took me to. They were Mennonite tinged and when it was time for the group hymn sing, he’d say “come on lets find a place away from the crowd, so I can have a smoke”. Good times. I miss him. I love him. As I age I find that he taught me a lot.
I learned not to smoke, nor drink a lot. I suck at pool and poker. I’ve always tried to be more financially responsible than my dad, and mostly succeeded. I have taken my health more seriously, than he did. I am not afraid of doctors. Like my dad, I like to laugh and have fun. The one lesson I am most thankful for is to not always follow society’s path. Take chances if it may get you what you really want. He didn’t care that much about what people thought of him. As I age I am finding that to be true for me too. I wish only that I had learned that one a long long time ago.
Happy Fathers Day! I hope you have good memories, of your father, like I do. Being a father myself, I know it’s a difficult role to play.
A Semi-retired Kind of Life 
Dennis…enjoyed your Father’s Day post.
Here is mine…I write one each year:
So, if I had a 28 year old son, what life advice would I give him on this Father’s Day?
Now wait…I DO have a 28 year old son, so here is my best shot…
Live every day like it’s your last, because one day it will be.
Okay, so that is a very common, overused, oft quoted phrase, but one day you WILL wake up, and you will be sixty-five like your old man here, and begin to look back at years behind, and forward to the far too few years ahead.
Just Do It!, as Nike implores us.
Try everything. Don’t worry about what others think, or might say. Please don’t let their skepticisms and comments have any effect on you. As Shelli would offer, “Just say yes.” You never know what you will learn or where it will lead you if you don’t take a step…or a leap…or a climb…or a chance…
Be fiscally responsible.
Start planning for that eventual retirement early, for one day you will be ready, and want to be ready. Don’t be like me and wait too long.
Don’t be cheap.
Yes, fiscally responsible does not mean forgoing potential joys. Remember our many vacations and adventures…don’t give up opportunities to enjoy. Give up meaningless splurges and “stuff” to stay on track. More toys do not mean happiness. They mean you buy a lot of shit that you don’t really need. (See my guitar collection as example.)
Be aware.
Ground yourself and take it all in. There is a lot of joy and life within this world and it’s inhabitants. Enjoy it all.
Celebrate.
Yes, dance to the music. Don’t limit yourself to commemorations of birthdays, anniversaries, and major life events. Applaud the small moments of life, happiness, and successes.
Care for others.
You are much further along on this path than I will ever be, and I admire you for that.
The person or persons that are down and need help, in whatever fashion that means, is someone else’s loved one. Treat them as you would want a stranger to treat those dear to you.
Be humble.
You have strengths and weaknesses. Come to know yours, accept them, and not judge others on theirs. We all have at least two things in common and we all have at least two differences. It doesn’t make us more valuable or superior.
Be loyal.
When someone needs you, be there, no matter the disruption to your life or schedule.
Be honest.
Whether this is in business dealings, with friends and loved ones, when the cashier gives you too much change…do the right thing…don’t take shortcuts. Never cheat or take advantage. Tell the truth. Don’t just agree.
Integrate putting yourself first with serving others.
You and I have a tendency to put the needs of others so far ahead of ours that it becomes detrimental. There’s a balance. Be honest with yourself.
Stay forever young.
Your body will grow old, but don’t allow your thoughts, words, and actions to stagnate.
Ask for help when you need.
It is not a frailty to recognize and request. It is a strength.
Be who you are.
Don’t act, say, think, or do things because others expect it. Find your place.
Embrace true love.
It is out there for each of us. Don’t settle for less, and when you have that special one, nurture your love, water it and feed it, so it continues to grow and blossom, on this plane, and another.
Happy Father’s Day from me to you Mike.
LikeLike
Excellent!
LikeLike