That’s a line from a Buffalo Springfield song. If I am quoting Buffalo Springfield, my mind must be wandering. It is. I have been having difficulty coming up with something to write about. This is my 213th post, so it could just be that I have only 212 stories to tell. For what it’s worth, that ain’t it! My mind’s distracted and confused. Uh oh. Simon and Garfunkel just sneaked in.
Here is what I was starting to write about. Years ago I worked for The Program for Women and Families. We worked in an old funeral home and yes it was very creepy alone there at night. One day I was at my desk and Jennifer, my co-worker who sat in front of me, turned around and showed me the inside of her purse. “Don’t tell anyone, but it’s a mouse in a live trap. I don’t know what to do with it!”. We laughed and whispered our possible plans. We came up with the idea that, at lunchtime, we would go to Trexler Park and set the mouse free in the little cabin in the middle of the park. We did and I’m sure the mouse was very happy!
So, normally I could go on writing about that story and the life lessons that could be learned from it. But I couldn’t. What jumped into my mind was “Who cares?”.
That’s what this pandemic has done to me. I find that I am turning from an optimist to a pessimist from a positive person to a negative person. To a cynic. I’m tired of the blathering of all political sides. I am tired of seeing the daily statistics and thinking that Pennsylvania dropped in the cases ranking to Illinois. See, cynical.
This isn’t me. I don’t like it. Yet here I am. I just don’t care. Don’t get me wrong. I care about my family and my friends. I care about my clients and my colleagues. It’s me I don’t care about.
I am trying to remain grateful for what I have. I am healthy and I have a job where I can work from home. I know not a single person with Covid-19. I am great at giving advice to my clients on how to remain positive during the pandemic. But that same advice doesn’t seem to be working for me.
I’ll come out of it. I know that. I know this was a downer of a post. So let me end with a joke. Me: Can I have fun? 2020: NO! Me: ok.
I wish you all well and hope you are doing better than I am. As I always tell my daughter, Emma, everything has a lifespan. Even this pandemic.
A Semi-retired Kind of Life 
Exactly how I feel,depressing times.I will get through this.
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Me. Not the nurse me. Me. I’m done. I’m tired of going to 3 different stores to put together things that work, and I still don’t have what I went to get. We’re on Spring Break, but I don’t want to go back to pushing my son to do school work for another 5-6weeks while we continue to work. I’m concerned about our mothers, who both live alone and are isolating in cities with no family nearby. I know people with the virus who are friends and peers. It is very real to me so the nurse me takes hold and tells me to just hang on because this will pass.
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Well said, Valerie.
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