The Power of Connection

I have always been fascinated by relationships. Fascinated by the constantly changing state of relationships. The way people come into your life, are important in your life, and then leave your life. How can someone be so important at one moment and then just a passing remembrance later?  I know that this fascination with relationships is not a typical male trait. But, I think most of you know by now that I am secure in my masculinity and in touch with my feminine side! If that is not too new agey for you, read on.

As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I deal with relationships all day long. It is fascinating to hear about family feuds, broken marriages, divorced parents who put themselves above their children, and support networks of friends that are sometimes more important than family. I am currently working with an aging and dying woman whose son has not talked to her for the past twenty years. She wants to connect again before she dies. Think relationships are no big deal?  Ask her.

Our first relationships, of course, are with family members.  Our parents, at first, are vital for our very survival. Then they are our guides. Sometimes they become our friends. Eventually we end up taking care of them. The circle of life. But sometimes that circle breaks. It can be through death, or arguments, or distance.  Or it can just be because of plain old stubbornness. Sad.

Our siblings are part of our lives even longer than our parents are. We usually share an entire life span.  We also share the same culture, the same upbringing, and usually the same values. How can something as important as that fade because of minor things like perceived slights or outside influences? It shouldn’t.

I’ve written about Slatington High School often. The kids we go to school with, especially those who went to a small school, share the most remarkable time of one’s life. Those teen years are filled with growth and conflict and learning about ourselves. Our friends are important then, why not later. A shoutout to Facebook for reconnecting me with many of my high school friends!

The people we work with are another example of changing relationships. In your working years, you spend more time with your co-workers than you do with your own family. Some of those relationships become strong friendships, a vital support network. But then you change jobs. And you say, we have to keep in touch. But you don’t. Why not? It was important then. Make it important now. Last night I attended a memorial service for the mother of a good friend and current co-worker. It was wonderful to see former, and current, colleagues of ours reach out and show their support. But there could have been more.

It takes five seconds to send a text. It takes a few minutes more to make a call. It may take an hour or more to visit. But what are you doing that is more important than nurturing the connections in your life. I know what you are doing…binging on Netflix, playing video games, reading blogposts (don’t stop doing that)!  I think I sound preachy. I am equally responsible for not doing a good job at staying connected to the important people in my life.  I plan to try harder. When I lapse, I will think of my client who is waiting for that text, call, or visit, from her absent son.

I only mentioned Slatington once today! That memorial service really got me thinking. Thanks for letting me vent!