Life Is Full of Tests

I have a framed document of my great great grandfather’s service, as a Union infantryman, in the Civil War. It lists all of the battles he was in and the injuries he received. He was shot in the abdomen in the major battle, Fort Wagner, that was depicted in the movie Glory.

I have two other framed documents from the Civil War. One is the draft notice for a different great great grandfather of mine. The other is his discharge from service a few weeks after he was drafted.  It explains that he paid a substitute to take his place. In Civil War times you could avoid serving by paying for a substitute. That means my family at one time had money and maybe a lack of courage!

So, two different ancestors and two different views of military service in the same war.  When I look at these documents I often wonder which route I would have taken.  I do not come from a family with a big history of military service. My dad did not serve in WWII though I think an uncle or two may have.  My oldest brother was a Marine and served in peacetime Japan in the mid ’50s. My brother-in-law served in Korea during the Korean War.

My closest chance at serving was during the Vietnam War. As you know, this was a very unpopular war and I came down on the side of the war protestors.  Before a draft lottery was installed, people who didn’t want to serve looked for ways to get deferments. President Trump having bone spurs would be an example.  People were getting married to avoid being drafted. People stayed in college to keep getting student deferments.

But the draft lottery was established and ended most of those deferments.  I was in the second draft for those turning nineteen in 1971. Basically, all 365 birthdates were put in a hat and drawn one at a time.  If your birthday was on October 4th and that was the first birthdate selected, it meant you would be the first group to be drafted that year. I can remember not being able to sleep the night before the listing of numbers was to be announced the next day.  I wanted May 22 to be the last drawn, lottery number 365.  But, instead I was number 162.  Predictions were that the draft would reach around the number 160. I had to worry all year about that letter in the mail.  It never came.

So, does my wish for a lottery number 365 make me a coward? Maybe. I could have enlisted at any time.  I know I was afraid to die.  I know I was against the war.

But one thing I know for certain. I am a rule follower. Had my lottery number been higher and I had been drafted I would have served my country, not skipped off to Canada.  I have no doubt about that.  Would I be here today? Who knows? Am I glad I didn’t go to Viet Nam. Yes.  But I still feel a tinge of guilt when I meet someone who did serve or when I see pictures of the Viet Nam War Memorial.

Life is full of tests. I’m still not sure if I passed or failed this one.