Yesterday I hiked in Trexler Nature Preserve. It was a perfect day for being outdoors. I came down the very steep Teal Trail, which ends at the ford over Jordan Creek. My intention was to start climbing up the equally steep Elk Watching Trail. But congregating at the bottom of the trail was about 100 Muslims. I hesitated to start on the Elk Watching Trail, not because they were Muslims but because I really don’t like crowds and they might affect my pace.

The crowd split into two groups. Women with young children stayed at the ford. About 75 others started on the Elk Watching Trail. I let them get a little head start. I restarted my hike and fairly quickly caught up with the eldest of the group. We walked together for some time. He explained that they were from New Jersey and came to visit the zoo. He said it didn’t take long at the zoo so they decided to hike. They were hiking without a map and without a destination in mind. I told them that they chose a very steep trail. He was out of breath already and panted “Yes, I see”. Some of his younger hikers turned around to head back. I said to him that it looks like us old guys are doing better than the kids. He lamented the fact that kids today don’t get outdoors much. I showed them the short trail that leads to the elk area. I told him a way to get back to the ford without turning back on this trail. He wished me a glorious day as I left them there and felt happy that I was able to share this beautiful area with them.

I got back to the ford way before the group would. The young women with children were having fun playing at the creek. I told one of them that the rest of them would be at least another half hour. She said that’s alright as they continued throwing rocks into the Jordan.

As I walked back to my car I thought how glad I was that I didn’t change my plans. Any time we get to spend with others, who are different from us, usually gives us a great experience. The older hiker shared my concerns about aging, steep hills, enjoying the outdoors, and kids who spend too much time, in the house, in front of screens.

So this hike not only met my physical needs, but my emotional needs got a workout too. Always a good thing.

Today I went on a five mile hike, followed by lunch, with two former co-workers who I have remained friends with for about twenty five years. We last worked together in the mid ’90s. We worked in Human Resources together for several years and we were the best damn HR department east of the Mississippi! Lucy, Stacey, and I went our separate ways in the late ’90s, but have gotten together at least once a year since then. What makes that happen? Why that connection?

Part of that connection is the crucible of work. You spend more waking hours with your co-workers that you do your own families. If your work is extremely stressful, which ours was, that makes the connection stronger. If you had a boss that wasn’t always on the same page as the rest of you, that can lead to a stronger alliance. We had that, a common “enemy” if you will. There is also the need to work together as a team, a camaraderie that was designed but grew into a natural coalition.

I always wonder about other workplace situations and if the same things happen there. For example, does the cast of Seinfeld get together regularly? How about an NBA championship team from thirty years ago? The attorneys, and their staff, who prosecuted OJ? The important players from the original cast of Breaking Bad?

How about places you have worked over the years? People come and go in a work setting. Have you kept friends long after they have gone or you have gone? Do you get together occasionally to catch up and reminisce? This sounds weird, coming from introvert me, but we probably should do more of that.

So Lucy and Stacey and I have seen each other through births and deaths and marriages and divorces. Our careers have veered in different directions. Lucy is retired. I am semi-retired. Stacey is still doing the HR thing. But some connection was forged back in the ’90s, in a business park in Bethlehem, in the southwest corner of a building overlooking Route 22. I hope you have found those connections in your work life as well.

Next spring we will be meeting again. If our collective health holds, maybe another five mile hike! Time goes so fast. We need to treasure our friendships. All we have in life, for certain, is what we have right now.

No. No. No. Not that Triple D. You must be confusing me with that infamous former governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura, who said out loud that he wanted to be reincarnated as a triple D bra! Read on, please, to see what I am talking about.

As I heal from my new dentures, I’ve been doing something masochistic. Even though I still can’t eat normally, I’ve been watching lots of episodes of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives on the Food Network.

If you don’t know the show, it’s Guy Fieri traveling the country visiting unique food places. He visits with the owner and the cooks. He mingles with the guests. It’s very formulaic. Usually it is a place that’s been in the town for generations. Sometimes it is a place that serves something out of place for that region, like Vietnamese food in Hibbing, Minnesota. Often it’s because of the unique location of the dive, like the fried chicken place in the back of a cell phone store. Always, it is unique recipes and like Guy always says “That’s the real deal, there”.

This got me thinking where Guy Fieri would stop in the Lehigh Valley. I’ll admit I am not a big foodie. Oh, I love food and could dine out every single night. But, alas, I can’t afford to do that. So, I certainly don’t know all of the diners, drive-ins and dives here in the Lehigh Valley. I also admit to being Lehigh County/Allentown centric. So there may be the perfect dive in Bangor, that I just don’t know about. I would love to hear from my readers which places they think meet the criteria for Guy’s show. I don’t mean the places that serve good food. I mean places that do that, but also have something unique about them.

I’ll offer these three. Cali Burrito. the owners brought their California lifestyle vibe back to their native Lehigh Valley. The burritos are amazing. Try the Old Monterey, my favorite! Next is Werts Cafe. They have been in Allentown for generations. Their signature dish is the Werts Burger, stuffed with mushrooms and onions, and their onion rings are light and crispy. Yum! Last, but not least, is Aci Halal Turkish Restaurant. I don’t know how many Turk-Americans there are in the valley, but it doesn’t matter because they are doing a thriving business in a not so great part of Allentown. The food is wonderful!

Again, I’d love to hear your nominations for best DDD where you live. In these days where citizens are clashing over everything, something we all have in common, and love, is food!

Did that title draw you in? Did you think you’d be reading some hot, steamy porn? Nah! That’s my other blog that I write under the pseudonym, Buck Naked. Seinfeld reference!!

So who are these intimate strangers I am talking about? My barber, my family doctor, and my dentist and her office manager. Now that I wrote that, it sounds like it could still go into porn territory. I’d better explain.

I have a client that I have been seeing for 12 years. I first saw him as a nine year old boy, with a hoody, who wouldn’t even show his face. Today he is a year away from being an archaeologist. I helped him find his voice and open himself up to the world. Together we went through a rough middle school experience and a worse early high school experience. I thought about how long I have been in his life. That made me think of some people, not family and not friends, who have been a part of my life.

I’ve had the same barber for almost thirty years. When I first saw him, I only had a receding hairline. Now that hairline has receded to the back of my head. He’s fast, he’s cheap, and quite frankly I’m not much of a challenge. #2 clipper all over with taper on the side. But we talk about current events and vacations and work. I know a little about his family and he knows a little about mine. We are sort of intimate strangers.

I’ve had the same family doctor for at least twenty five years. He’s seen me through two cancers, many ear infections, and lots of colds. I know his wife is a doctor in the same practice and I have seen his kids grow by watching the ever changing pictures on his exam room walls. He’s currently cheering me on as my non-throwing up streak is about to hit 18 years! Another Seinfeld reference!

Then there is my dentist and her office manager. They have been taking care of me for thirty years. You don’t usually think of a dentist office as a fun place, and neither do I. But these two are wonderful. We share our thoughts on the state of the world, the latest entertainment buzz, and even office gossip. Whatever happened to the new assistant who worked two days and never returned, leaving her personal items behind? There was a long streak where I was there almost every week. They had a plaque made, Dennis’s Chair, and put it on the window sill by Chair #2, my chair!

So these are my intimate strangers. I’m not sure how I will survive if any of them retire. It’ll certainly be a loss in my life. Who are the intimate strangers in your life?

So, now it’s time to write my other blog. You know Buck Naked’s blog. It’s already started. The title is “Sally Does Slatington” or something like that. Just kidding! Keeping it clean here in Schnecksville!

What do I have in common with Jon Bon Jovi? I mean other than the obvious. Of course, we are both incredibly handsome, talented, wealthy, and extremely masculine men. That goes without saying! But it felt good to say it anyway. We all have our little fantasies!

But I do have something else in common with Jon. It is something neither of us, I’m sure, is very excited about. Nor is it something that either of us really want the public to be aware of. But here I am writing about it anyway. Writing this blog has been very therapeutic.

I’ve kept you is suspense long enough! Well, just a little longer. I also share this with Ben Affleck and Nicholas Cage. Two more handsome, virile, talented, and rich men. Perhaps we should form a club! Have you guessed it yet? It’s dentures!

Actually, today I have my own teeth. But this Friday, that will no longer be true. Only the bottom half will be mine. I am getting immediate upper dentures. I am scared. I an worried. I am feeling old. I come from a family of bad teeth. I have had more root canals than you can imagine. My teeth are more filling than real tooth. It’s time for this to happen.

If I truly were as wealthy as Jon Bon Jovi, I would be getting the dentures that are screwed into your jaw bone, the ones you never remove. Alas, mine will be the ones you take out at night. I tend to be a rule follower, but if I happen to have a woman staying overnight with me, those choppers are staying in!!

So Friday is the day I have been dreading for years. I am not working the following week (some vacation!) just to get used to speaking and eating and making sure they don’t unexpectedly fall out. Please keep me in your thoughts Friday. I know I will be Livin’ On a Prayer!

Like a moth to a flame. Like a reader to a book sale. Like a trick or treater to Halloween candy. Like all of those three, I am drawn to Tik Tok. Wait! It’s even worse than that. I have Tik Tok brain! Yes. I’ve become addicted to a silly app that is filled with amateur videos posted by everyday people like you and me. Well, I won’t speak for you. I don’t know how everyday you are!

But I do know this. If I have five minutes to spare, it’s off to Tik Tok. I start watching the videos and before you know it the five minutes has turned into twenty-five! Day has turned into night. Summer has turned into Autumn. I go online for a counseling session. My client isn’t online yet. Yes!! Tik Tok!

I’m not sure what the big attraction is. Maybe it’s how short the videos are? Less than a minute each. Maybe it’s how amateurish they are? They really are, though some add sparkles. Maybe it’s how hilarious they are? That joke was really funny and I bet the next one is even funnier. Let’s see. One little finger swipe and on to a new joke. Maybe it’s the bikini clad women coming out of swimming pools? Hey! I’m 68. I’m not dead!

Here’s my worry. Not for me but for the world. If more and more people get addicted to Tik Tok, will all progress stop. The scientist on the verge of curing cancer. What if she instead spends too much time watching normal folk lip sync comic routines! The diplomats on the verge of world peace. What if a meeting ends with them doing Tik Tok challenges instead. Maybe our President is right in wanting to ban Tik Tok! Oh no. did I just agree with Trump? More proof that I have Tik Tok brain!

But no. I don’t want it banned. It’s too much fun! The Tik Tok songs are in my head. Banning Tik Tok won’t get them out. I think they are in there forever. I’ll just take the advice of Benjamin Franklin, all things in moderation. Speaking of Ben Franklin. He started the first zoo, the first post office, the first newspaper. If he were alive today, he may have made the first Tik Tok video. Just sayin’.

I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes in this post. I have no time to proofread. There are too many Tik Tok videos to watch! I’ll end with a little tease for my fellow Tik Tok addicts. “Last night I had the strangest dream”. You know who you are.

Two days ago my last remaining aunt died. Aunt Vivian. She had just celebrated her hundredth birthday two weeks before. She was one of my mom’s younger sisters. Six siblings who grew up in Mahanoy City and moved, as teens, with their parents to Slatington so their dad could work in the slate quarries.

I often write about the importance of making the most of the time we have and of telling people we love, that we love them. Here is an example of a failure on my part. I haven’t seen, nor talked to Aunt Viv in at least thirty five years. I have guilt. I have regret. I have childhood memories. Seeing her beautiful picture in the obituaries this morning brought all of this forward.

She was married to my uncle, Dooley. They had two sons, Lee and Larry. Neither Viv nor Dooley drove. My dad often took them places that they needed to go to. They were a Slatington oriented couple. Dooley was the Borough Secretary for many years. He worked for Bethlehem Steel, but back in those days The Steel ran a bus line to Slatington to transport workers. Dooley died in Spain while he and Viv were on vacation. That’s pretty far from Slatington. The obituary said that Viv worked in dress mills. I always remember her as a stay at home mom. Living the life of a housewife in the twin home next to St. John’s Lutheran Church. The home is no longer there. It is now a church parking lot. Things change.

I haven’t seen nor talked to Lee and Larry for a long time either. Sad, because cousins are our first friends. They were six and seven years older than I am, so I always looked up to them. Viv was a great mom. Dooley was a great dad. They were a wonderful family.

So my dad’s and mom’s generation, in my family, is now laid to rest. Now there is no chance to reminisce with them. There is no chance to tell any of them how much they affected my life. There is no more chance to hug them and tell them I love them. What missed opportunities!

I’ll close with a memory. When Lee and Larry were off to college, it was up to me to run errands for non-driving Viv. We always lived close to each other. Every week or so, she would send me Kreitz’s grocery store on Main Street. I’d walk the few blocks with an order I still remember. Canned corned beef lunchmeat, bread, and a big bag of Golden Sun potato chips. When I would get to her house she would slip me a few quarters and tell me not to tell my mom about the tip. I never did.

So, I guess it’s too late now. But if I could, I would happily tell Viv that I love her. Maybe tonight, to honor her, I’ll have a corned beef sandwich for dinner. I can’t have the Golden Sun chips though. Sadly, they are a part of the last generation as well.

Writing this post was therapeutic for me. I hope that maybe it influences a few of you to reach out to those you love and haven’t seen for awhile. Life is short.

I just finished a novel, “Find Me” by Andre Aciman. The general theme of the book is that we all need more courage and less pride. The author believes we should make ourselves vulnerable, take risks, and open ourselves up to adventures and to love. He thinks pride gets in the way of much of that. Here’s a quote from the book: “Pride is the nickname we give fear”.

That got me thinking about the role of pride in my life and in the lives of those around me. I’m especially talking about male pride here. It’s the pride I know best! I am sure women have their own unique blend of pride that I know much less about. My male pride may have kept me from learning more about it.

Most of you know I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and that I do a lot of couples work. You probably think most couples come to see me because of affairs, or financial differences. Well, they do. But lack of communication is often the biggest issue and it often underlies the other two. So much of my couples work involves getting the man to open up about his feelings and openly communicate about everything. You know what often stops men from talking about their feelings? Yep. Male pride. We are taught from a young age to not show vulnerability. I hear this phrase all the time from the woman: I love him, but I’m not in love with him. That’s usually because the man is so closed off, wrapped up in his male pride. Let’s stop that, guys!

Our male pride has kept us out of careers that we may have loved. I’m thinking here of the typical “female” careers of nursing, interior decorating, cosmetology, or elementary education. But you know what else happens? Our male pride keeps women from entering traditional male fields, especially if it the males that are doing the hiring and mentoring.

I am happy to report that we have been making lots of progress in some of these areas. Today’s generation of men is doing so much more, than my generation did, to change this way of thinking. It was only a few generations ago that men wouldn’t even think of changing a diaper. Now they are often the primary caregiver. Progress!

But male pride negatives continue. If I go somewhere with a woman, I like to drive. I’m not a huge fan of driving, so it must be male pride at work. I like that I have always made more money than my partners. Male pride? Probably. I think I am cured of that one. If a woman making a million dollars a year wants to marry me…I’m all in!!

One last example. Remember a few years ago, when a gunman killed 20 first graders about a week before Christmas. President Obama spoke on the subject and had tears in his eyes. A FB friend of mine thought that was a sign of weakness. What could stop any person from getting a little teary thinking about 20 six year old lives ended while their Christmas gifts waited at home? Male pride could do that!

Have a great week! These cool mornings are a sure sign of things to come.

That title. Is that the phrase introverts use when arriving at a party? Why, yes, yes it is! In our minds, for sure, if not out loud!

That title. Did anyone recognize it as a Groucho Marx song from the movie “Animal Crackers”? I bet my older readers did.

That title. Did it remind anyone of the Beatles’ song “Hello Goodbye”? A quick aside: Paul McCartney wrote that song in ten minutes, winning a bet that he could write a good song in ten minutes!

That title. Is it the story of our lives? I think it is. Let me explain what I mean, using my life as an example.

Life appears to be a never ending series of hellos and goodbyes. Some people that you think will be in your life forever, just up and leave, hello…goodbye. Sometimes they leave by choice. Sometimes they leave by chance. But either way, there is that never ending nagging knowledge that everything has a lifespan, even relationships…familial, emotional, romantic, personal friendships, and work friendships.

I lost my first grade best friend, when he died in a sledding accident. Hello Ricky Serfass, and goodbye. I’ve had teachers throughout my school years who were so important and so loved by me, who disappeared from my life after graduation. Hello Mrs. Morgan and Miss Miller, and goodbye. I’ve been dumped by girlfriends that, in my head at least, I may have married. You’re waiting for names here aren’t you? Nope. Not going there! But, like Willie Nelson sang, “to all the girls I’ve loved before”, hello, and a sad goodbye. We spend more time with our work colleagues than with our families (pre-Covid at least!). I can think of so many work friends that filled my days with fun and memories. Where are they now? Hello, goodbye.

I hope I haven’t depressed you too much with what I’ve written so far! I’ve been feeling down lately. I blame it on this freaking election, Covid with no end in sight, and life transitions. But most of you know me as a positive person. Maybe I can turn it around in a last paragraph?

What do I have from all those goodbyes? I have wonderful memories and experiences that have shaped my life. The first word in the title is hello. Maybe there are more hellos to look forward to. Though that may be difficult being a 68 year old introvert! I have my Buddhism, which teaches that desire is the cause of all suffering. Another way to look at that is to nurture the relationships in your life right now. Be happy with what you have now, because even tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Feel better now? If not, how about this Groucho Marx joke for an ending: Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know!

And that’s true, at least at Parkland. I assume it’s everywhere. Homerooms no longer exist. They may have disappeared 49 years ago as far as I know. I’ve been out of high school for fifty years!

Emma was on line completing her parking pass for Monday. She couldn’t complete it because she didn’t yet know her English teacher’s name. I heard this and asked what an English teacher has to do with a parking pass. Then she reminded me…no homeroom! But, everyone takes English.

So English class is the new Homeroom, much like 68 is the new 58, or 48!

I loved homeroom. It was sort of our base of operations. We would arrive there before classes started and get ready for our day. It was here that we checked in with friends that were in the same alphabet range! It was here that we heard school announcements. It was here that we handed in any necessary school wide paperwork, like parking pass applications. It was here that we recited the Pledge of Allegiance. My homeroom was Room 20 at Slatington High School. Our homeroom teacher was Sara Miller. She also taught German and Latin, but I’m sure her duties as homeroom teacher were her most taxing. I kid.

Without homerooms, think of all of the political careers that never get launched the proper way. I was Homeroom President in my junior year. I must have done a good job (whatever I did I can’t remember) because I was next elected Vice President of Student Council. My political career peaked as a Slatington Borough Councilman. Yes, I served, loyally, my homeroom, my school, and my town. But without a homeroom, would I have gotten that vital launch?

Like Joni Mitchell said, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. Kids today don’t know what they are missing without homerooms. I didn’t know the importance in my life of homeroom until I realized they no longer exist. But it’s nice to think back to Room 20, and to my fellow A-G ers, and to Sara Miller, and to having a chance to settle and prepare for your day. Everything is crazy and moving too fast today. I think kids could use that 15 minutes of homeroom. A place to settle and a place to launch.