I Miss It

It’s Palm Sunday. My memories are taking me back to confirmation class at St. John’s UCC in Slatington. I grew up in that church. Baptism, Sunday school, Confirmation, Youth Groups, and First Communion. When I say I miss it, I am talking about the church building itself. Not the sermon. Not the offering. Not the ancient hymns that often made no sense. I miss the church building. In confirmation classes we learned all about the narthex and the nave and the altar. I loved the stained-glass windows. I loved the quiet and the polished wood and the maroon seat cushions, and the candles, and the gold and the robes. I loved the high ceilings and the little glasses for communion. I loved the balcony and the choir lofts. I loved the tintinnabulation of the bells. Thank you, Edgar Allen Poe for that great word.

I could go back, right? The problem is that somewhere along the line I lost my Christian beliefs. I was always a questioner. My daughter’s death, at seventeen, made me search for answers. My answers came in a study of Buddhism. So, to go to church now, would make me somewhat hypocritical. The Lord’s Prayer, the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed (see I paid attention in confirmation class) mean little to me now. I am certain I would be welcomed back, but I would feel like a phony. So, I need to be content with my memories. I can do that. As my consistent readers know, I spend a lot of time in my memories.

So, to all my Christian friends, Happy Palm Sunday and Happy Easter! If you find yourself in the narthex on either of those days, take a look around and savor that place of peace. It is truly a blessing. Just a reminder, Sunday May 8, is Buddha Day!