I’m not talking about two different people. I’m talking about me. These are comments I received when I became a father for the first time and when I became a father for the last time. I have never really followed the norm in most things I’ve done in my life. Whether it’s graduating from college at 35 or grad school at 49, I don’t always follow the middle path. Running a marathon to celebrate turning fifty or buying a Sunshine Orange Subaru Crosstrek at 67, I march to my own drum. I’ve never been a big believer in “things happen for a reason”. I believe life is much more random than that!
I was nineteen when my daughter, Amy was born. 1972. Things were a lot different back then. Abortion was illegal. Contraceptives weren’t as varied nor as easily accessible. I was told that I was ruining my life. That I would never be able to get a good job. That I would never go to college. That I would miss out on the years of sowing my wild oats. I did finish college and grad school and have had a wonderful career. As for sowing my wild oats, I’m not a farmer. Nor am I a party boy. I was perfectly happy staying home with my wife and my little infant girl.
Would I recommend having a child at 19? Absolutely not. But if you do, I won’t criticize or judge. I’ll say congratulations and mind my own business. What a concept!
Emma, my last child, was born in 2002. I was fifty. This is what I heard. You won’t have the energy to raise a child at that age. You won’t ever be able to retire. You probably won’t see her marry or see her have children. You’ll be an embarrassment to her as an older father. Well, guess what. I have plenty of energy. I think she keeps me young. I’m semi-retired. I’m getting there. I expect to be around to see her marry. I don’t think I will walk her down the aisle using a walker. I’m hoping to be able to babysit her kids at some point. Am I an embarrassment to her? You’d have to ask her that! But we have a really good relationship.
Would I recommend having a child at 50? Absolutely not. But if you do, I won’t criticize or judge. I’ll say congratulations and mind my own business. Again, quite the concept!
John Lennon famously sang “Life is what happens while we’re making other plans.” He was so right. So live your life and let others live theirs. Whether everything is happening for a reason or if it is like I believe, random af, just embrace each and every day and be kind to all.
A Semi-retired Kind of Life 