The Great Middle

Remember back in the day, when you took a Chemistry test and thought to yourself, I did horribly? (That would be every Chemistry test for me.) But then between classes you talk to your friends and find out they didn’t think they did very well either.  Whew! You knew there was some possibility that the Standard Normal Curve (the Bell Curve) might bail you out.  The theory goes that every test should have a few As and a few Fs, a few more Bs and Ds, and most people would get Cs.  Back then teachers would use this a lot. Based on what I hear about my daughter’s school experience, it is never used. I could be wrong.  So if my daughter gets a 68 on a Chemistry test, that’s a D. There is no chance that the bell curve will turn her D into a C.  Sucks to be her!

Ok. So they don’t use the Standard Normal Curve in school anymore. I still use it in my work.  I often will explain the concept to an anxiety client to normalize their feelings. On one side of the curve is the very few people who don’t stress about anything. On the other side is the very few people who won’t even leave their home because of anxiety. Then I explain that all of us, even them, fall somewhere in the Great Middle. Being careful not to minimize their own experience, it makes them feel closer to normal and gives them a fresh perspective on their life.  This works for other issues as well. Depression, Grief. Even someone going through a divorce is most likely not having the worst divorce in the history of mankind.  They, also, are in the Great Middle. The great middle of the Bell Curve.

I thought of this concept, again, while recovering from my recent colon resection. Instead of wallowing in self pity (ok, I did a little of that), I remembered that there are cancer patients and accident victims that have it a lot worse than I do.  And sure, there are some people who never have a sick day in their lives. But, I am in the Great Middle, as are most of us.  Not a bad place to be!

Look at your life through the lens of the Standard Normal Curve. You have a few days that are absolutely spectacular. Those would be your graduation days, your wedding day, your birth of a child days, and your retirement day. You also have a few days that are absolutely disastrous. Those would be the days when you lose a loved one, find out that you are seriously ill, or even the days when the love of your life says she doesn’t want to see you anymore.  But most of our life is spent in the Great Middle.  Most of are days are just fine, neither spectacular nor disastrous.  I think we need to spend more time appreciating the normal days. I am hoping you agree and join me in the Great Middle. It’s a wonderful place to be!!