Kobe

As you all know by now, Kobe Bryant was killed in a helicopter crash yesterday.  I am not going to presume to be an authority on Kobe. I am neither a big NBA fan nor even much of a basketball fan.  I do know something about death though, unfortunately. All of us, of course, have known death in our lives. Looking back at my life, I have had an unusual number of times to grieve.

I’m reminded of a controversial issue when I worked for Crime Victims Council.  We did grief counseling for the families of homicide victims.  The argument, in our field, was  that a sudden death is so much worse than the death of someone who who dies a slow death, like from cancer.  As someone who watched my daughter die, over the course of eleven months, I usually argued the other side.  A slow death is worse because you have to look that person in the eye every single day, until they are gone.

How about this idea?  All death sucks…for the survivors.

Kobe’s death was a shocker. It reminded me of three other deaths of celebrities that meant something in my life. John Lennon and Tim Russert were two sudden deaths. If you don’t remember who Tim Russert was, he was an NBC politcial analyst and host of Meet the Press. His death from a rare heart condition made me watch my diet for…..oh about a week.  John Lennon was a Beatle, and so much more. The long slow death was Muhammad Ali. An idol of mine since the mid-sixties, he represented youth and health and change and humor and passion. Watching his slow decline was very difficult. Again, all death sucks…for the survivors.

A friend told me the most difficult thing for her about Kobe’s death was the fact that he had to know that he and his daughter were going to die and he could do nothing to help her.  Sudden death.  Even though my death was not imminent in 1989, I had to watch my daughter die and be unable to do anything to help her. A slower death.

Let’s end this depressing topic on a more positive note. Let’s all take something from Kobe’s life. Let’s try to live with passion. Let’s try to help others. Let’s try to be the best person we can be.  Let’s live for today, because nothing past today is guaranteed.