On Being Bald in the Summertime

I know you’ve been waiting for this blogpost. Those of you, like me, who are bald may find some solace here. Those of you who are not bald may learn some empathy, or at least sympathy, for those of us who suffer from, that dreaded malady, male pattern baldness.

The first thing I can say about being bald in the summertime is that it sucks!  I know. I know. This is definitely a first world problem. In our house, if someone whines about something minor, the retort is “you could be living in Afghanistan”. So, yes, this is minor and I could be living in Afghanistan. Or I could be 8 months pregnant in the summer. Well, actually, I couldn’t be. But you know what I mean.

I bet most of you think the number one summer bald issue is sunburn. It’s in the top three. Yes, your bald head is setting up there, right on top,  facing the sun , on its own, with no protection but sunscreen. But sunscreen is difficult to apply, especially if you have some hair toward the sides, like me.  Your hair is soaked in sunscreen and isn’t that attractive!?   Wear a hat you say. But when you wear a hat you get the tan face and white head top. also very attractive!

The number one issue, though is not sunburn, but sweat! Yes, all of you with hair are lucky. When the top of your head perspires, like it will in July, your hair soaks up that perspiration leaving your face just glistening a little.  Without hair up there, any bit of head sweat just rolls down in torrents into your face. Ugh. I don’t know about you, but excessive face sweat for me causes acne. Great, I can be a bald sweaty mess…with pimples!  Notice the attractiveness theme?

Lastly, those torrents of sweat run right into your eyes causing extreme burning and lack of visibility. If you wear glasses there is no way they are staying on your head. So, you carry them, walking blindly and potentially into an oncoming car. Yes, my friends, the struggle is real!

It is time to stop complaining and put on my big boy pants. After all, I could be eight months pregnant. Well, I could be living in Afghanistan.

I’ll end with a couple positives. My head is dry before I am up the ladder while exiting a pool! And, more importantly, some women apparently find bald men virile and handsome. If anyone knows where those women are, please let me know!