Not All Dangling Conversations

There is an obscure, but really good, ’60s song by Simon and Garfunkel. It’s called Dangling Conversation. They sing about how we go through our lives in conversation with others, but the conversations are dangling because we never talk about the important things. The dangling conversations, according to Paul Simon, are the discussions about poetry and politics, weather and work. They dangle because they are not about the real important things, the “feelings” things.

I think, while there is some truth to this, that Simon and Garfunkel were a bit naïve. Maybe it is because they were probably twenty years old when it was written. They had not yet lived a full, long life. I don’t think it is possible to go through a life without having those difficult talks. Not all conversations can be dangling. But wouldn’t that be nice!

Throughout my life I have had those talks. We all have! Well, except for Paul Simon. But he is now in his seventies, so my guess is he has had quite a few by now.

My tough talks have been numerous. I can remember sitting my kids down to talk to them about the infamous birds and bees!  Another was with my big brother Jim, when he picked me up from high school because my mom was dying. It was him again who told me that my dad had died. My brother, Jim, the master of difficult conversations.

When my daughter relapsed with her leukemia, the conversation with the doctor telling me things look very bleak.  That was hard. Very hard.  Telling my second daughter, eight years old, that her mom and dad are getting divorced and dad is moving out.  There was nothing dangling about that conversation!

So it goes. On and on. Dangling conversations interspersed with the difficult ones. Life. I guess the very last difficult conversation will have to do with end of life stuff. But that can wait…for a long, long time.

Well this was a downer post!  I am going to end with some happy conversations, the ones we should have more of! Dad, I’m getting married!! It’s a girl!!!   You got accepted to the school you wanted!!!   You are going to love semi-retirement!!!

That’s life. A mix of good and bad. But we wouldn’t appreciate the good if we didn’t have some bad. We wouldn’t learn from the bad if we didn’t have good to compare it to.

The very naïve, Paul Simon, also wrote this song, also about avoiding the difficult parts of life: I am a rock, I am an island, and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries. C’mon Paul! Get in the game! Life, and all its responsibilities, is pretty damn awesome!