Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

This is a not real clear picture of my oldest brother, Don.  I took this picture of a video I made of him. More about that later.  Don was 18, and a few weeks from his high school graduation, when I was born.  He immediately joined the Marines, fell in love with California, fell in love with a woman, and became the sibling I never really got to know.  After two children were raised and on their own, Don got divorced and returned to Pennsylvania. I thought I would finally get to spend more time with him and develop a relationship. I only had a few years. He passed away at the age of 65 from prostate cancer. The picture above is only a few months before his death. I miss the brother I never really got to know.

When I was in grad school, I had a Marriage and Family class in which we were supposed to make a video of an interview with a parent about their time growing up. Since, by this time, I was an orphan,  I chose my oldest brother. He was old enough to be my father! He was gracious enough, in spite of his illness, to sit and answer questions for over an hour. I learned so much about my pre-me family. I learned more about Slatington in the ’40s! There were many things I didn’t know. There were many perceptions and assumptions that I had that were not true. It was a wonderful experience.

I shared the video with my other siblings and with my brother Don’s children.  I got an A in my class!  It was very well received and I told myself that I would do the same thing with my other three siblings. I’ve written before about my lack of follow through. Here was an example of that. I made no other videos. My sister died just two years after my brother.  Opportunity lost.

I write this as a cautionary tale. We are all aging rapidly. When we are gone, our stories and our feelings and our perspectives go with us.  Memories lost. I wish I had followed through on my mission.  I still watch my big brother video on occasion.  It always makes me feel good to know I did this. I know everyone is not as nostalgic as I am. I know a lot of people don’t care about history.  But, I have a feeling that as you get much older, you will wish you had.