Digging A Little Deeper

So, there has been something bothering me lately. Is it that Donald Trump is our president? Yes, but this is a non-political blog so…no. Is it that this is an almost snowless winter, so far? No. I love that! Is it that learning ukulele is harder than I thought it would be? No. Because I suspected that just might be the case.

What has been bothering me is the conflict between my spiritual beliefs and my obsession with nostalgia and, in particular, my obsession with the Slatington of my youth. Even though I was raised in the United Church of Christ, and have much respect and many fond memories, I consider myself a Buddhist.  One of the key tenets of Buddhism is to be in the moment. This moment, right now, is all we have. The past is done and the future is not guaranteed. So, what is going on here?

I am mostly happy with my present moment. I am semi-retired. I have a wonderful family. I have good friendships. I have a job that I love and that gives me fulfillment, even at two days a week. My health is relatively good. My hobbies are keeping me engaged and mentally and physically active.  So, what is going on here?

I must be looking for something from my youth. But what is it?  Is it youth itself? Maybe. I am turning 67 this year and I know I am nearing the finish line, even though it may be 20 years away.  But would I want to be 17 again? I would if I could be 17 in 1969. I would not want to be 17 in today’s world. It is way too complicated and fast paced.

Maybe that is it. Am I  looking for peace and quiet and a much slower pace? Definitely, that is part of it. But, I do find peace and quiet in today’s world. I usually hike alone, and when I am in the middle of the woods or on top of a mountain, and there is not another soul around, I am at my most happy place.

It’s something more. I think it may be simple. It is that I had an amazing childhood! I grew up in a beautiful little town. I grew up in a wonderful era. Most people whose childhood spanned the ’50s and 60’s would surely agree.  I  had great friends and great teachers and great adventures. I loved, and still love, my family. I had Trout Creek, and the slate dumps and the slate quarries and Bedbug Cave!  Was it perfect? No, because I had parents who didn’t get along. I had an appendicitis in 4th grade and nearly died. I had my share of romantic heartbreaks.  But, still…what an awesome time to be young.

So I have solved my own dilemma. What am I going to do about it? I am going to enjoy my present moment as much as I can. I am going to continue to hike and kayak and read. I am going to be thankful for every day I have on this amazing planet! But every once in a while, in a quiet moment or when I am driving from uptown to downtown, I am going to savor my past and my youth and my little hometown.  No reason I can’t have both, right?