The Dog Bite

Most of you who know me know how I feel about dogs. I don’t like them.  I know that that is an unpopular stance, but there it is. Why don’t I like them. Let me count the ways! They smell bad. They drool and slobber. They bark too much. Their hair gets all over the place. They bite people. They sometimes chase you when you run in Lehigh Parkway. They poop in surprising places. But, most importantly, they do not know the meaning of the word boundary!

Don’t get me wrong. I know there are wonderful dogs out there. I even have a dog as a Facebook friend. RIP Murry McLaughlin. I know some that are cute and lovable and loyal. I just don’t necessarily want them on my lap or in my face. I was walking in Kolapechka Park the other day and here comes a woman with two medium size dogs. At least they were on a leash (it’s the law, people!). Before you know it their muddy paws were all over my shorts and they are pushing their noses into my hands.  Of course, their owner remarked on their friendliness.  Yeah, great.

Here is where my dog animus comes from. It is not genetic, though my sister had similar feelings.  It’s not because I am a cranky negative person, in spite of my political rants on FB. It’s because I was severely attacked by a German Shepherd at the age of 12.

Here’s a short version of that story. It was a hot July afternoon. My friend Ronnie Minnich and I were shooting off little firecrackers in an alley in Slatington. It was between First and Second and Church and Franklin (for you Slatington readers).  The firecrackers were the kind that you threw hard against the blacktop and they made some kind of minor pop. We were having a good time when all of a sudden a big white German Shepherd comes bolting out of a back door and heads immediately for us. Hair on end, teeth bared, barking and growling. My friend Ronnie, the better athlete, was able to get up into a tree.  I was reaching for a branch and I felt the dog’s teeth sink right into my lower back. Ow!!  Only his owner calling him back ended the attack and maybe saved my life!  Many stitches later, I survived.

But what didn’t survive is my good feelings toward dogs. Especially German Shepherds!

So that’s where my dislike of dogs started. I know many of my complaints about them are really about their owners.  And, I guess, I shouldn’t have been playing with firecrackers in a Slatington alley.  But, if I see you out on the streets and you are with your dog, please don’t expect me to go all gaga over your Fido, Rover, or Spot.

Rainy day in Schnecksville. A good day for all dogs to stay inside. 🙂