I’m In Shock

One of my favorite people died today. Another victim of suicide. Anthony Bourdain killed himself in France.  I’m sad. I’m heartbroken. I’m in shock.

Of course, I didn’t know him personally. I only knew his public persona. But what a persona he had! Brash, irreverent, and always questioning authority. Always standing up for the little guy, always respectful of the people he was with, always loving life.

I have read his books starting with Kitchen Confidential. I’ve watched all of his shows, Parts Unknown, No Reservations.  I always thought he should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize because of what he was trying to teach us all.  No matter what country he was in, he taught us that people are basically the same. They want to laugh, they want to love, and they want to eat well.

This death comes on the heels of the suicide of Kate Spade. I admit that I had never heard of her before her death. But, again, her fans seemed to be equally shocked and saddened. One thing this shows us is that we really don’t know celebrities. But it also shows us that we don’t really know our friends and acquaintances either. We all, every one of us, has a public persona. But, we all hold something back. We all have our secrets that we even keep from those closest to us.  Whenever I do couples counseling, the couple will point out a couple they know that has the “perfect marriage”, the “perfect family”, the “perfect life”. I always tell  them that you have no idea what goes on behind their closed doors.

So what can we take from this? A few things.  First, we should never compare ourselves with others, because we don’t really know that other person. Second, we live in an impermanent world. We should never be surprised by anything because life is one surprise after another.  Finally, we need to be kind.  This famous quote applies “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind always.”

So Anthony Bourdain is gone. He leaves behind a young daughter. How sad for her.  He leaves behind millions of adoring fans. How sad for them.  He leaves behind friends in nearly every country in the world. How sad for them, too.

My Buddhist beliefs tell me that he is on his way to his next life. Karma will apply and hopefully in his next life he will have another platform to teach love, and curiosity, and respect, and passion. I hope his new life is filled with great friends, good wines, and lots of the great food he loved.

For myself, this will be a day of processing his death. What can I learn from it?  I will be outside a lot today, but tonight I am going to look for a particular episode of Parts Unknown. I think he was in Haiti. So was President Obama. They had lunch and a great conversation. A classic, just like Anthony Bourdain.