Funeral Blues

Does that title bring back any memories? It is the title of a wonderful poem by W. H. Auden. It was featured in the movie “Four Weddings and a Funeral”.  So I don’t break any copyright laws, I encourage you to find a copy and read it. It popped into my mind today because, later, I am attending a funeral.

I have attended many, many funerals over the years as loss seems to be a regular visitor to my life. The vast majority of the funerals I have attended have been pretty traditional. A viewing the night before and just before the service the next day. Then the service itself, followed by something at the cemetery and ending with some sort of meal or social gathering after.  That is what I grew up on.

Today, with cremation becoming more and more popular, that traditional funeral is disappearing. It is now just as common to have it be replaced by a memorial service or celebration of life, often weeks or months following the death. Either way, traditional or more modern, the funeral is a necessary way to bring closure to the end of someone’s life.   It is a way to bring loved ones together. It is a way to heal old wounds. It is a way to think of our own mortality.

The first funeral I attended, I was only six years old. My best friend in first grade, Ricky Serfass, died in a sledding accident in front of his home on Church Street in Slatington. I had no idea what was going on but my parents thought it was the right things to do. In hindsight, I am not so sure.  I still can picture him in the casket holding a Superman flashlight.

Of course, we have all seen funerals on TV. On TV funerals, the eulogy tends to take center stage. I can honestly say that I have never attended a funeral where eulogies are part of the service, other than a few words by a pastor or priest.  I thought that it was just a TV invention but I have been told by clients that, no, it happens all the time.

Funerals, especially when we get older, make us think how we would like to be memorialized at the time of our death. Many people have completely planned their funeral ahead of time. My plans are muddled in my head, but I know there will be Beatles music, great lines from great literature, and lots of desserts!

I can hear the birds chirping as I write this. Sounds like a beautiful day!