In the Company of Women

I like women. I believe they are the stronger sex, by far. I think they would have done a much better job of running the world, than men have over the past thousands of years. I am not a big fan of men, in general, even though I am one. I think men are too into machismo  and being intimidatingly strong.  Women are more likely to talk about feelings and emotions than men are. Men like to talk about sports.  I know I am stereotyping here and I hope I haven’t offended any of my male friends.

Speaking of friends, most of my closest friends are women. I think it has always been that way. I feel less judged and more able to talk about important things.

My relationship with the opposite gender has been an interesting part of my counseling career.  One of my first counseling jobs was with The Program for Women and Families, in Allentown.  Their primary mission is to help women who have been incarcerated get their lives and families back.  Well, because I am a man, I was not allowed to be alone in counseling rooms with female clients. There was a fear of a lawsuit based on false allegations. Instead, I was assigned the angry male perpetrators of domestic violence.

Luckily,  Crime Victims Council of Lehigh Valley was much more progressive. I remember being interviewed for the job of Sexual Abuse and Rape Victim Counselor. I asked near the end of the interview if women are going to want to talk to a man about these issues. They said they didn’t know but they really wanted to try it. I took the job and was the first male sexual abuse counselor in the agency. It was a wonderful experience for me. I can remember only two clients who refused to talk with a male counselor. One was a radical feminist who told me she hates men.  The other was a Muslim woman in a full burqa. In the four years I worked there I accompanied, and counseled, three women during their rape exams. This was extremely rewarding and gave me a sense of just how strong women are.

While at CVC, I also spent most Friday afternoons counseling female prisoners at Lehigh County Prison.  I worked with them on their abuse issues, as most of them had had horrible lives filled with physical and sexual violence , usually at the hands of men. Maybe this is where my dislike of my gender has its roots.

These women prisoners remain the population I have most liked working with.  They were funny, and hopeful, and unbelievably strong.  Here is a funny story about one of my favorite prison clients.  She was in for prostitution and impersonating an officer. It turns out she was angry about the dollar amount some guy offered for her services. She made believe she was a vice officer, made him get out of his car and stand facing a wall, and then took off with his car!  We laughed about this the rest of the session. I often wonder, like I do with most of my clients, how she is doing today.  That was close to fifteen years ago.

Time to end this blog post. It started out going in one direction and ended up in another. Sorry for my lack of focus. It may not have been the best for my readers but it brought back good memories for me.

Enjoy your Sunday!